You Can’t Win ’em All

20 Aug

As soon as I got to work today, I found out that I won a pair of tickets to a (very expensive) dueling pianos show this weekend.

Cool, right?

The rules of the give-away were that you have to attend the show with your “significant other.”

Yes, the rules said “Significant Other.”

So, I took on the task of finding a “significant other.”

I texted a friend, asking if he wanted to attend with me.

No response.

* * * * *

While I was waiting to hear from my friend, I decided to go to a Tupperware Quarter Auction.

If you decide you want to bid on an item, you put a quarter (or two or three — whatever the asking price is) in a cup, the lady draws a number and if it’s your number (and you bid on it), you win.

You can put $10 in right off the bat and have a chance at everything that’s up for bid. Or you can bid on individual items. Since I’m not a “stuff” person, I decided to bid on only the items that I would actually use.

The first item I bid on was two containers.

I won the containers.

My number was called on an item I didn’t bid on.

And then I bid on a one-gallon pitcher.

And I won that too.

For a total of $7, I left the Tupperware gig with $40 worth of merchandise.

* * * * *

I went home and looked at my strangely silent phone.

No response from Guy Number One regarding the show.

* * * * *

Shortly after I found out that I had won the tickets, my coworker wrote me a note that said, “You won tickets to the show! You should totally take me! (Unless you have a date or something.)”

Well, I guess it’s good to know somebody wants to go with me.

And I’d be cool with that — if they hadn’t put in the part about taking one’s “significant other.”

No girl who is attracted exclusively to men wants anybody to think they’re “with” a chick.

* * * * *

Moving on to Guy Number Two…..

This whole asking dudes to go to a show with you is completely awkward.

Especially when you’re a girl. A shy girl. A girl who doesn’t really know how to talk to men in the first place.

Especially when you’re a girl who was taught her whole life that nice girls don’t kiss boys. Or talk to boys. Or look at boys. Or be seen in the presence of boys. Or ride in cars with boys. Or go to shows with boys.

Especially when you’re a girl who was taught that girls are supposed to wait patiently for boys to notice you.

Guy Number Two is busy that night. Dang it.

* * * * *

Moving on to Guy Number Three….

I just might have to settle for going to the show with a chick.

No, really. I enjoy the company of my coworker.

I can win tickets. I can win Tupperware. I can win all kinds of things — all in the same day. But I guess there are things you can’t win. I guess you can’t win ’em all — especially when it comes to finding a guy to go to a Dueling Pianos show with you.


Posted by on August 20, 2013 in Current Events


Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

2 responses to “You Can’t Win ’em All

  1. culinaryperusings

    August 21, 2013 at 9:15 AM

    Good news is someone at work asked me if I was going with you and I told her you were asking a few different guys. So at least if you do go with me, it’s out there that I was your fourth choice.


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