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Tag Archives: Dating

On Being a Woman

I’ve been reading this book the past few days:

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On the very first page, it said thi

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s:

Truer words have never been spoken.

One of the questions asked in the first few pages was something along the lines of “when did you become a woman?” A very thought-provoking question.

When and how do you become a woman??

It could be any number of things, from physiological changes, to trauma to getting a driver’s license to having a baby.

It’s different for everybody.

For me, I didn’t start to feel like a woman until I was about 32. It was when, for the first time, a man wanted to spend time perusing ideas with me and going on picnics with me and doing basic life with me. It was when I entertained for the first time in my very own home. It was when I finally got a job where I was treated like an adult.

I had done many “adult” things prior to that.

Around my 29th birthday, I realized that even though I’d been an adult for years, I still felt like a child.

I was fresh out of a very controlling environment and wondering why no one took me seriously.

And then it hit me. The problem was that I saw myself as a child. It’s hard for everybody else to think of you as an adult if you view yourself as a child.

I had to remind myself on a daily basis that I was a woman and not just a little girl playing dress-up with Mommy’s heels.

Reminders like “yes, you can go out for dinner with that guy. You’re an adult now.

Reminders from men that I wasn’t just a little girl; that I was a nice, person who was capable of having beautiful, intelligent and interesting conversations.

Reminders that I’d been doing grown-up things like paying the bills and fixing the car and cleaning the house for years and that means you’re a woman now, not just a little girl.

I had to convince myself that I was actually an adult.

But, I’ve been an adult in survival mode.

When you’re living in survival mode, it’s hard to explore the nuances of what it means to be an adult. A woman.

Now that I think about it, I really don’t feel like a woman and I don’t have a clue what it means to be a woman.

Adult, yes. I can do adult.

Woman? Not so much.

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Posted by on May 4, 2016 in Profundities

 

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Metaphor

I’ve concluded that finding a spouse is sort of like trying to get published. You end up getting about 9 million and 87 messages that say something along the lines of “so sorry, but the material you have presented is not acceptable” before that one person reads it through the right lens and is able and willing to read and interpret your material the way it really is rather than the way they want it to be.

Trying to find a spouse is just as discouraging as trying to find a publisher.

 
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Posted by on August 2, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

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A Book I Found Recently

I have a confession to make.

When I have a few extra dollars, I like to go on Amazon.com and browse the book section.

Recently, I was browsing and came across this.

I was intrigued more by the subtitle than anything else. “How to Find a Date Worth Keeping: Be Dating in Six Months or Your Money Back.”

I’m not as frugal as I used to be.

But, if you’re going to give me a challenge, I’m going to go for it.

Unless it’s something stupid. Like licking a metal pole during winter.

*****

When I came across this book, I thought, “Aha! Let’s just see if this works!”

It was very exciting.

Because, when you’re like…. 30…. and you’ve been dumped once (even though you’ve never even been on a date), a guarantee like that is about as exciting as…. I don’t know. Getting a new puppy?

*****

Then, I started reading it.

I don’t think I like it very much. It sounds like work.

It sounds like I might have to become someone I’m not.

It sounds like I’d definitely have to become someone that no one is used to.

And then I’d have to explain myself. And people would look at me. And they’d like…. I don’t know. Realize that I exist. And that would take a little getting used to.

We’ll see how this goes.

 
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Posted by on May 16, 2013 in Current Events

 

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